In my dating life, I used write off people very quickly who were so inwardly focused that they couldn't even bother to be interested in who I was and what I was doing. I'm a good listener and can fake being interested but it always made me seethe inside to see such self-absorption in men who weren't all THAT interesting. It's taken me a while to get used to how KK doesn't always 'show' interest through cues that I am used to: Asking questions, remembering something I told him a day/week/year ago and bringing it back up in conversation. It drove me crazy and I accused him of "not caring". He countered that not asking or remembering little details wasn't a manifestation of 'not caring'. Though at the time I didn't believe him,I can see now what 'caring' he does feel and ask and remember.
I have these high standards of people I love like KK and my friends. I give back twice as much as I give. Having said that I don't understand why I give such leeway to pseudo. . What has he done to deserve so many breaks that I wouldn't give to friends I've known for much longer. In a nutshell: I like him and I want him to like me. but I am afraid to ask for something. why? I don't feel energy on his part or the vibe that he's invested. I am so 'on' when i see his name pop up on messenger and wait with bated breath to see if he will contact me. LAME-O. I have a life and friends and am not begging for his attention. Or shouldn't need to--It's OK if someone says NO-not the end of the world. I can say NO-it's not the end of the world.
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